These blog getting gloomier that if I was to read this blog completely unknown to my own self, i would seriously advice myself to like, go talk to someone.
I am stucked. At being ignorant to those who carelessly toying with my feeling because they thought they can and to actually do something to make it right. They have the privilage to get me to be toleratable but it does not mean i have to like it. To like them. It is worse as these are the some people which I can't simply shut down because, well, fuck. If I can simply shut them off then of course I wouldn't have these helpless feeling.
I don't like to get mad really. Especially at things that I know I can't get mad and because I love to make peace with myself. I do understand that this what Allah meant it to be and i have the strength to endure. I know myself well to have all the sense to choose whose feeling to care for and these are really the FEW. I know I have to care since i'm an adult and these is my responsibilty. I hate talking in puzzle.
Deep long breath.
This is hard and tiresome and endlessly not going to stop from happening again. I just know it. Or maybe because i'm still at mourning stage that I thought everything was hopeless. I am hopeless. To think that i was going to have a great weekend and end up curling all day long on my bed. This feel so damn bad.
Don't ask me to like talk to someone. Can someone please stop the time.
I am stucked. At being ignorant to those who carelessly toying with my feeling because they thought they can and to actually do something to make it right. They have the privilage to get me to be toleratable but it does not mean i have to like it. To like them. It is worse as these are the some people which I can't simply shut down because, well, fuck. If I can simply shut them off then of course I wouldn't have these helpless feeling.
I don't like to get mad really. Especially at things that I know I can't get mad and because I love to make peace with myself. I do understand that this what Allah meant it to be and i have the strength to endure. I know myself well to have all the sense to choose whose feeling to care for and these are really the FEW. I know I have to care since i'm an adult and these is my responsibilty. I hate talking in puzzle.
Deep long breath.
This is hard and tiresome and endlessly not going to stop from happening again. I just know it. Or maybe because i'm still at mourning stage that I thought everything was hopeless. I am hopeless. To think that i was going to have a great weekend and end up curling all day long on my bed. This feel so damn bad.
Don't ask me to like talk to someone. Can someone please stop the time.
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